


finding family

by transfiguredtoad



Series: Finding Family [1]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Family Feels, Minor Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, braime babies, bros brienne sansa and arya, but i like it, i'm not really sure what this is, mum brienne, pregnant brienne
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-15 01:42:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21245420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transfiguredtoad/pseuds/transfiguredtoad
Summary: Jaime and Brienne had one night in King's Landing before he sends her away to find Sansa and Arya.She takes more of him than a Lannister sword and suit of armour.





	finding family

**Author's Note:**

> Update Jan 2020: I'm turning this into a full story now! Feel free to still read this of course but, if you want to wait to know what is going to happen in the story as it is updated, skip straight to the full story (which is the next part in the 'series' if you scroll to the bottom). The plots are going to be identical, just obviously more detailed and more emotional and all that guff 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

She’d taken the sword from him, hands shaking, heart aching. She’d taken his armour and blinked back tears. She’d accepted the squire without a word. When he’d asked what was wrong, she’d opened her mouth and then closed it again and assured him she was fine. She’d ignored the tears in his eyes, ignored the tears in her own. She’d brushed off his comments about how he wished he was going with her. She’d acted as cool and collected as she possibly could. She’d straddled her horse and rode away, only turning back at the last second to find him watching her leave. 

And, only after a whole day’s riding with a silent squire at her side, she’d broken down into tears, crouched beneath a tree, and sobbed as though someone was ripping her heart out. She’d rasped and screamed and torn her hair out. Her throat had burned and her head had ached. Vision blurred and legs collapsed beneath her. 

The squire had put her back together, helping her with her armour and asking no questions. He’d found them food that night and cooked it and been so helpful while Brienne’s heart grieved and mourned for a future she would not have, for a man she could not have.

That night, she slept fitfully, her arms wrapped around herself. She rocked herself in an attempt to go to sleep. When she did sleep, she saw him, saw him above her, kissing her, whispering kind things, teasing her, giving her a sword. Giving her his love. She woke up with an ache between her legs and a hole in her heart.

The next morning, she washed her face in the river and found breakfast, feeding the squire and herself and then doing some non strenuous exercise. She roped the squire in, reminding him that, if he wanted to be a knight one day, he would have to be fit enough. Then, they sparred and he was hopeless but Brienne had to know that she could turn him into something good. She would be the sort of person who could take something and form it into something good and true.

Over the months, she felt a sort of affection growing for the awkward, stuttering squire. He reminded her of herself, really. She taught him as much as she could, helped him grow his body stronger and develop muscles. She sparred with him until his reflexes improved. She told him the horrors that she had experienced from the men in Renly’s camp. He apologised on behalf of his gender. Brienne laughed until she cried, for the first time since that first night.

He brought it up then, the thing he’d not mentioned and she’d not acknowledged. He mentioned her sickness that had abated. He mentioned the swell of her stomach, her aversion to certain foods. He asked her how long she’d known. She told him she’d realised the day they had left, the day that Jaime had given her a sword and a suit of armour and a squire - and a fatherless future for their child.

Podrick was good about it. He did not judge her. They made plans together, to find the girls, to track them. Podrick said that they had to protect the baby. Brienne agreed.

She hit six months and, even on her body, the pregnancy was obvious. They scouted as discreetly as they could. Brienne stopped wearing breeches and started wearing simple dress. Breeches were not made to hold a growing babe. Brienne stopped sparring with Podrick but assured that he was practising. She cried when she thought of their baby, without his father.

At seven months, they found Arya. She was with the Hound. They tried not to be obvious. But they were figured out and the Hound was about to drag the girl away. Brienne took out her sword and Podrick screamed at her about the baby. But Brienne could not let Lady Catelyn’s daughter get away.

“Don’t make me fight,” Brienne had begged. The Hound had stared at her stomach and then at Arya. He’d acquiesced. He’d asked what the hell she was doing and Brienne told him about the vow. Arya begged to be allowed to help find Sansa.

It was easier then. Inns took them as a travelling family, with two children and a babe on the way. Brienne shared a room with Arya, held her when she had nightmares. Podrick and Arya trained with Sandor and Brienne made comments on their form. Arya asked after the baby’s father. Brienne cried and Podrick was defensive. Sandor made comments and Arya scowled. 

Brienne told them about Jaime the next day. Arya screamed and shouted and Sandor too. But they stayed. They watched as she grew to eight months and then protected her while they rented a house in a village in the Vale when she hit nine months. They found her a birthing woman when the time came and Arya stayed in the room with her while she gave birth. Podrick stood outside but never left his solemn vigil.

When the baby came into the world, in a whirlwind of pain, Arya pronounced her the most beautiful Lannister. Arya promised to be the best sister that the baby had ever known. Then she rushed outside and told Podrick that they had a sister. Brienne cried while she held her daughter. The birthing woman left and Sandor brought her some food, acknowledging the baby with a grunt. Podrick called her beautiful.

The next night, when they sat around their fire in their home in the Vale, Arya asked what the baby’s name was. Brienne said, tears still running, that she didn’t know. When Arya suggested Catelyn, it seemed so right that Brienne sobbed. Arya told her to stop being soft, that she’d turn Cat into a soft little princess.

Cat had Jaime’s eyes. A few weeks after her birth, Sandor rushed into the house with the news that Sansa had been sent to Winterfell, to be the Bastard’s wife. They left a few days afterwards. Cat travelled easily, in a sling around Brienne’s neck. They stopped frequently so that Brienne could feed her at the breast, something Arya had pronounced disgusting. Brienne had teased her about it for a while, asking if she would never want to have a baby of her own. She had earned herself a glare.

They reached Winterfell and rented themselves a house in the village. It was growing colder and Brienne refused to risk Cat. Podrick braided Arya’s hair so that she would look different. They put her in dresses and Arya declared that no one would know who she was in a dress. Arya and Brienne and Cat shared a room. Brienne listened to Arya while she told her about how she and Sansa didn’t have a good relationship. Brienne promised she would have a chance to fix that.

Podrick was the one who infiltrated Winterfell, despite Brienne’s worry and Sandor’s gruff warnings that it was too dangerous. But the rest of them were too recognisable. Podrick would blend in. And his sword skills had improved so that he would be able to defend himself. Still, Brienne cried when she let him go and, when she received a goodbye cuddle from her honorary older brother, little Cat gave him her first smile.

Podrick returned within a week, with news of Ramsay’s cruelty. He told Sandor and Brienne quietly about the rape that Sansa was being subjected to. He told them she was rarely seen outside of her chambers. He told them about Reek and about the rumours which said that he was Theon Greyjoy. When they told Arya this, she told Podrick to talk to him, to tell him that she was here and that Sansa needed his help. Arya told him that Theon had once been her brother like Podrick was now. Podrick had been proud then and had bid them goodbye again.

It was two weeks later that Podrick, Theon and Sansa jumped from the walls of Winterfell. They fled, Sansa sharing a horse with her sister and Theon with Podrick. They made for the Wall, camping for as little time as they could manage. Sansa cried with Arya the first night, told Arya what had been done to her. Arya shouted and screamed at Theon but Sansa defended him. The next day, Theon left, with one of the horses. Sansa cried.

The ride up to the Wall was strenuous. Cat had grown some. She was nearly five months old and found being strapped to Brienne’s chest less easy as she had once. She was heavier and more active. They had to stop more often. Sometimes, Sansa asked Brienne if she could ride with Cat, to help Brienne. When Arya saw this, she wanted to as well and, soon, all five of them were swapping holding Cat. Even without a father, Cat was so loved.

When Sansa discovered who the father was, she asked if Jaime had raped her. Brienne told Sansa truthfully that she was in love with Jaime. “We can’t choose who we love,” Sansa said with a sad little smile. With their hands clasped together, Sansa told Brienne the full story, starting with her first betrothed - Jaime’s son, Joffrey - and finishing with her second marriage. Brienne promised to protect Sansa and, there and then, swore her sword to her. Sansa adapted her acceptance to include always caring for little Cat.

They reached the Wall quickly enough. Brienne, Sandor and Podrick watched rather awkwardly while Jon Snow greeted his sisters with sobs. Cat gurgled at Jon when Arya introduced her as her other sister. Jon gave them his sincere thanks.

While they stayed at the Wall, Arya refused to sleep alone. She begged Brienne to allow her to continue staying with her. Brienne pressed her lips to Arya’s head and allowed it, accepting Sansa’s presence as well. The three of them had bad dreams and comforted each other, often watched by the beautiful green eyes of Catelyn. Brienne had made herself a family. While Arya and Sansa slept, Brienne pressed her hand to her heart, wishing that the hole Jaime had made would be filled by the love she was surrounded by.

The wildling Tormund tormented Brienne. He offered to be a father to her daughter. He told her that she couldn’t do it alone and Brienne soundly beat him in a fight. That only spurred him on. He asked whether she and Sandor were together and Brienne and Sandor were both so horrified that Podrick and Arya laughed themselves silly. One night, Arya asked Brienne why she was saying no to Tormund. Brienne told Arya that she would love Jaime until the day she died. Arya told her she would be sad forever and Brienne nodded with a sad, tear-stricken smile.

It wasn’t long until Sansa needed something of Brienne: to protect Arya while she went to their uncle to plead for his army. They went, the five of them. Sansa had offered to protect Cat, but Brienne had refused to let her beautiful daughter out of her sight.

They rode down to Riverrun where Brynden Tully was holding out against a Lannister siege. Cat squawked at the red and gold banners and Brienne and Podrick shared a sad look. It was as if the little girl knew her heritage, what was rightfully hers. Brienne nearly cried at the surge in her heart at the banners which matched her sword. Perhaps Jaime was there.

She didn’t voice that thought, though. While Brienne and Arya sneaked into the castle, Sandor and Podrick waited with the horses and Cat, ready to flee. Brienne didn’t see any of what happened, but she found out when she returned.

Lannister scouts recognised Sandor and he tried to fight, tried to make Podrick flee with the babe. All three were taken before Jaime Lannister. Jaime mocked Sandor and then recognised Podrick. He asked after Podrick’s lady. Podrick spat at his feet and Jaime feared the worst. Podrick cradled Catelyn’s face to his chest. “She is dead?” Jaime whispered. Podrick was cruel to Jaime then, asking if he even cared, telling him that he deserved her to be dead to him, deserved for her to cut her off for life. When Jaime was too confused to respond, Podrick told him that he knew Brienne well and that she would want this. Jaime looked between his prisoners, finally taking stock of the blonde baby in Podrick’s arms.

“This is your daughter.”

And, so, Jaime Lannister met his daughter. He took her in arms like she was made of glass. Her pudgy little fingers poked at his face. Jaime stuttered and stammered and asked for every detail. Podrick spared none. He told Jaime how Brienne had mourned for the first few months after they had left. He told him how she was scared and how she was willing to fight for Arya despite the baby. He told him about the birth and about how adored Catelyn is, about how adored Brienne is.

When Catelyn began to cry, Jaime cradled her to his chest. “It’s okay, little girl,” he whispered. “Your papa’s here now.”

Brienne and Arya found them like that, accompanied by Brynden Tully. The Blackfish gave Jaime his surrender on the condition of being allowed to leave with his armies without being attacked. Jaime, voice rasping and eyes on Brienne, gave it. Podrick made them all leave the tent, leaving only Brienne and Jaime.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jaime cried. Brienne felt tears spark in her eyes. Her throat burned. He was holding their daughter. Their Cat, the girl who was so loved but fatherless.

“Her name is Catelyn,” Brienne said, approaching her daughter and her- Jaime. Jaime nodded. Brienne was so close to them. She touched Catelyn’s hair. “I’ve missed you,” Brienne said, feeling her eyes stinging with tears. Jaime nodded and she saw the tears on his cheeks. Brienne reached up to brush them away.

“I thought I was protecting you,” he said, his voice thick with tears. Brienne nodded.

“I know,” she said simply. “I thought I was doing the same by not telling you.” Jaime shook his head.

“I would’ve left.” Brienne nodded, squeezing her eyes together tightly. “I’ll leave now. I’ll fight for you, for both of you, until I’m dead.”

Brienne shook her head. “Don’t say that,” she said. Jaime nodded and he reached across Cat to kiss her.

“I love you.”

And that was that. Their party of five turned into a party of thousands. The Freys stayed at Riverrun. Jaime’s army moved north. The Tully army moved north. Jaime spent all his nights with Brienne and Cat. Arya was quick to tell Jaime how unhappy she was about it and Brienne checked that she was okay. Arya told her that she wanted to stab Jaime with Needle. Brienne asked her not to and Arya checked she was happy. Brienne kissed Arya’s hair and told her she was.

They’d been gone for about a week when Jaime asked Brienne to marry him. They got married in a sept, with Arya, Sandor and Podrick standing as witnesses. Arya threatened Jaime with bodily harm if he did not treat both Brienne and Cat as they deserved. Jaime laughed but then turned serious and promised Arya. On their wedding night, lying naked in her husband’s arms, Brienne told Jaime about Arya and Sansa and Podrick and Sandor and their status as her family. “Our family now,” he said hopefully, pressing a kiss to her shoulder.

A few mornings later, Brienne sat between Jaime’s legs while she fed Cat from her breast. Arya interrupted them with news that they weren’t far from Winterfell and Jaime bent down to kiss Brienne. “I love you,” he said.

They won the battle easily, although Brienne’s heart had broken as Arya had screamed for her brother, Rickon. That night, Brienne sent Jaime to sleep in Arya’s empty bed while Brienne slept with Arya and Sansa like they had once. Sansa had such intense nightmares that night that she screamed and it took hours for Arya and Brienne to settle her down and remind her that she was safe.

The next morning, Brienne watched, grim-faced, with Arya, as Sansa fed her husband to his own hounds.

Jon Snow was made king in the north. He was suspicious of Jaime at first but Jaime won him round, with his charm. Sansa and Arya’s opinion of Jaime might have helped convince their brother. The girls had grown fond of him, perhaps because they knew that Brienne loved him.

And love him she did. They grew accustomed to their life together, with their precious daughter who grew everyday. Brienne was very happily Lady Lannister. They knew that they would have to leave Winterfell one day but, for now, they were very happy helping Jon ready for the battle that he assured them was coming. Brienne spent as much time as she could with Jaime and Cat, so aware of the time they had been apart. She sparred with Jaime and kissed him at every opportunity. They often ate dinner together, just the three of them, although this was often interrupted by their little gaggle of “family” members.

On the nights that Jaime was away from her, leading his troops to help harvest troops or help impoverished villages or whatever King Jon had them doing on that particular day, Sansa and Arya joined her in her bed without even asking. They stayed up late, talking, telling her about their nightmares, about gossip, about what they wanted to happen, about what they feared. They asked her when she was going to have another baby and Brienne laughed them off when they tried to use Cat’s cuteness to convince her.

When the news of the wildfire attack on King’s Landing and Tommen’s suicide arrived, Brienne found out after Jaime. Sansa rushed to her, wild-eyed, to tell her what had happened. Brienne passed Cat to her unceremoniously and dashed around Winterfell desperately to find her husband. She found him in the stables, leaning on a wall with his right arm, eyes on the ground and sobbing. Deep rasping sobs like he had forgotten how to breathe. Brienne wrapped her arms around him and his sobs buried themselves in Brienne’s shoulder. “I loved her,” he sobbed. It broke Brienne’s heart, all of it.

That night, they lay in bed and Jaime told her everything about his relationship with Cersei, about his relationship, or lack thereof, with the children. They were both crying by the end and Jaime tried to push Brienne away but she refused and he kissed her.

She realised she was two months pregnant the next week. Jaime was gleeful, dancing around their chamber with their baby girl, who had celebrated her first name day not a month earlier. Their family surrounded them that night, in Sansa’s chambers. They had a little party and told them she was pregnant. Arya and Jaime argued over how many children Brienne would eventually have and Sansa promised to sew the baby as many clothes as it liked. Podrick asked whether it would be a girl or a boy. Brienne and Sandor made eye contact and he smiled as much as he could. It was family and it was perfect.

Things got less perfect when King Jon left to treat with Daenerys Targaryen. Lord Baelish arrived and set Sansa and Arya against each other. Brienne had to knock their heads together, to Jaime’s amusement. The night after Sansa sentenced Baelish to death for the death of her aunt - and for his actions leading to her marriage to Ramsay - the young Lady of Winterfell arrived in Brienne and Jaime’s chambers, crying. Jaime was confused and bleary while Brienne rocked Sansa and held her. Jaime brought Cat to the girls and the four of them sat on the floor by Brienne and Jaime’s bed. Sansa told them that she was scared of becoming Cersei. Jaime swore that he would make sure that never happened. Sansa thanked him.

Brienne’s pregnancy became more and more pronounced. They had frequent ravens from Dragonstone. Jaime was shocked to learn of his brother’s place there. Brienne teased him and asked him to tell her stories about Tyrion and their childhood.

Learning of the king’s visit above the Wall, Sandor left to help them. When Brienne found Arya and Podrick worried, she forced them to help Jaime with an errand a few hours from Winterfell. Brienne got annoyed that she could not do anything as the baby grew. Jaime sympathised with her and she accused him of wanting her barefoot and pregnant. He promised her it wasn’t true. Brienne believed him but pouted nonetheless.

Brienne was eight months pregnant when the king sent a summons for them, informing them that he had bent the knee to Queen Daenerys Targaryen and she was going to have a meeting with Cersei and would they please send a representative from the North - and Jaime Lannister?

Jaime refused at first. Sansa promised that, if he decided that was the right thing to do, she would not force him. It was this attitude that forced Jaime to leave. He took Sandor and Podrick with him. Jaime cried the night before they left, whispering stories to the prominent babe. Jaime promised her that he loved his girls more than anything in the world, before he left. Brienne’s annoyance at being labelled his girl was outweighed by how much she wanted to kiss him.

Arya and Sansa sharing her bed this time was as much for her as it was for them. Brienne worried constantly for Jaime. He had gone south, where he would be confronted with two queens who both had reason to want to kill him. He had betrayed Cersei and he had killed Daenerys’ father. The weight of her worry set heavily in Brienne’s belly.

Brienne gave birth about three weeks after Jaime left. The labour was worse than Cat’s. Sansa and Arya were by her side while she laboured for over a day. At the end, she had two more baby girls. Twins to add to their growing family. Brienne cried happy tears and then sad tears. She’d been alone for Cat’s birth and now she was alone again. “He’ll be back,” Sansa promised. Brienne smiled.

Alysanne and Arianne were needy babies, exhausting Brienne. Sansa and Arya helped as much as they could, Arya more so. Sansa had the whole of the North to manage, after all. Brienne felt as though she was not spending enough time with her little toddling, babbling Cat. Arya assured her that she was a far better mother than most highborn ladies and Brienne chuckled. In a moment of quiet, Arya confessed to Brienne that she wanted children but she didn’t want to be a lady. Brienne laughed at her and Arya turned a glare upon her, until Brienne reminded her that there were more options.

Brienne worried for Jaime until they received a letter declaring their failure to convince Cersei and then worried some more. She began sparring with Arya, to make herself ready for the battle that would come. Winter had truly fallen and it reminded Brienne of the threat beyond the Wall, every day. She dreamt of dead creatures taking her girls from her, of Jaime arriving dead, clawing out her throat. No matter what Arya and Sansa tried, Brienne could not sleep again until she had visited the nursery and held all three of her children.

They received word that the armies were on their way to Winterfell. Sansa was dashing around the castle with grace, organising food and sleeping quarters and making sure every detail was perfect for when the dragon queen arrived. When Sansa asked Arya to help, Arya came to hide with Brienne and the babies. Often, Brienne would go and help Sansa while Arya looked after the babies. When Arya arrived in Brienne’s chambers two months after Jaime had left, Brienne assumed it was another of these occurrences. At the excited look in Arya’s eyes, she realised it was something altogether different.

Brienne saw Jaime before she saw the dragon queen. He swung down from his horse and had her in his arms before Brienne could say a word to him. “I missed you,” he breathed in her ear. And then their little pocket rocket raced into his arms, screaming for her papa. Jaime scooped Cat up into his arms. Jaime pressed a soft kiss to Brienne’s lips. “Where is our baby?” he asked.

Brienne led him away from where Sansa was greeting the dragon queen. She led him to the nursery and introduced him to Arianne and Alysanne. He kissed her fervently and thanked her for giving him their babies. They took all three children to their chambers and Brienne asked him to tell her what happened. He looked at her and Brienne saw how exhausted he was. His beard was greyer than it had been, the bags under his eyes pronounced.

Cersei had been against the deal from the start, he told her. When she’d seen him there, she had made barbs, accusing him of betraying her, of betraying their family. She accused him of causing Tommen’s suicide. Jaime had sat silently, while Jon and Daenerys tried to make their case. Eventually, Cersei came out and asked for Brienne’s head, and their babies’, in exchange for her aid in the war. Daenerys had venomously told Cersei that she was no butcher queen, that the people would see that she was gracious and that they would want her far more than they would want Cersei.

All in all, it had been a wasted journey. And all Jaime had wanted was to be with his little family. Brienne kissed him at that admission. They took their babies down to dinner. Podrick was overwhelmed when he met Arianne and Alysanne, struggling to contain his tears.

“So, you’re the woman that lost us our army,” Queen Daenerys said of Brienne. Jaime looked ready to say something, until they saw the amusement playing on the queen’s lips. “And these are your three babies.”

“Dragon,” Cat squawked. Daenerys chuckled.

“And my hand’s nieces,” the queen added. Brienne nodded. “I am happy to see you have recovered from the birthing bed well, my lady.”

After that odd exchange, Brienne and Jaime took the children to meet their uncle. Tyrion greeted Brienne as his goodsister and congratulated her on making an honest man out of his brother. Brienne snorted at that and Jaime glared at her. Cat was taken with her uncle from the outset, poking at his scar and giggling at him. Tyrion was besotted straight away. Then, he held the twins. Sansa approached and took one of the twins from Tyrion, who made a joke about her being his wife. Brienne watched a cycle of emotions take over Sansa until her mask came back into place. “I belong to no man now, Lord Tyrion,” she said coldly. Jaime placed his hand on her shoulder as if to remind her that they were family and her face softened, taking a seat beside Tyrion. Brienne kissed Jaime.

The Long Night came and went, taking with it many. Tyrion and Sansa had furiously protected Cat, Alysanne and Arianne in the crypts while Brienne and Jaime commanded in the battle. Their family came through it all with only one loss: Sandor Clegane, who had died protecting Arya before she killed the Night King. Jaime and Brienne were prepared when Arya wanted to share their bed for a few nights. Jaime teased her about the smith who had returned with him and Cat played with her and Arya held the babies and, slowly by surely, they saw life return behind her eyes.

A month passed while Winterfell recovered from its battle. Alysanne and Arianne began to smile and giggle and generally enamour every person in the castle, including the dragon queen. Sansa and Arya and Podrick began to make jokes to Jaime and Brienne about having another baby, not caring who heard their family banter. Jaime joined in on the action, putting deeds to his words. Brienne told him that it was too soon to have another one but did not protest when he took her to bed without any precautions.

The dragon queen and Jon prepared for war in King’s Landing. Cersei’s troops had arrived there. When Jon came to Brienne to ask her to command in his army, she discussed with Jaime and they went to Jon and told him that they wanted to stay where they were. Jon understood and made a comment about Brienne being pregnant. Jaime and Brienne denied it with amusement and reminded Jon that Cersei had asked for Brienne’s head.

Jaime and Brienne watched Arya leave. She had come to Brienne in the middle of the night to tell her that she was going to kill Cersei.

When she returned, it was six months later and with Gendry, the smith, by her side. When questioned, Arya told Brienne that she had found one of those pesky options that Brienne had suggested. Arya told them that Cersei was dead by her hand. She looked Jaime straight in the eye when she said it and told him that she expected no thanks nor forgiveness. Jaime only smiled. That night, he cried with Brienne alone.

When they welcomed their fourth child two months later, Jaime was finally by Brienne’s side and he refused to leave her side, even when told that it was improper. He was there for every second while she laboured to bring yet another girl into the world. This child they named Joanna and she was as loved as the previous three and four more who would come. “Finally,” Jaime whispered, pressing a kiss to his wife’s forehead.


End file.
